I'm leaving for Nebraska on Tuesday, just for a few days. He protested, then said he'd pay, but I insisted. At his reaction, I reassured him that I'm not coming because I think he's dying this week, but I didn't tell him that it was primarily because he sounded so scared, either. I just said that I wanted to be able to be there for him while he's in the hospital, to maybe cheer him up a little bit. He allowed that having me there *would* make a difference and he'd be happy to see me. So I'm going.
I'm mostly feeling numb about the whole thing. I cried a few times this afternoon, but now I'm just focused on making travel arrangements, planning what books I'll take with me, worrying about what clothes to wear in the snow, etc. It's easier to throw myself into other things and not just think.
So ... about clothes in the snow. I haven't been in the snow since I lived in Scotland, about a million years ago. Are sneakers okay in the snow? Are jeans okay in the snow? I have a couple of sweaters I can wear over t-shirts, but will that be enough? I'm taking my cloak, despite the fact that I'm sure the native Omahans will think I'm crazy. Hell, half the people in the Bay Area think I'm crazy when they see me wearing it. But it's warm. I'm stressed about this one issue ... probably easier than stopping to stress about the bigger issue.