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The Prodigal Father Returns

Gah! Unexpected change of plans for the day. My dad phoned this morning to say that he's in town, staying in San Francisco, and he'd love to get together. Gah!

I haven't seen my dad in several years, and he's never met Shannon. Getting together with my dad is always immensely stressful because he pushes and pushes and pushes, wanting to be a major part of my life ... all of a sudden ... out of nowhere ... even though we've had almost no contact in the past 12 years.

Even just on the phone, he pushed me and pushed me and pushed me about my brother, until I finally said, as gently as possible, that Alan really doesn't want much (read: any) contact with Dad right now (read: anymore). It sounded an awful lot like my dad was crying. He was clearly extremely upset. Such an uncomfortable situation for me, and such a painful situation for him. Sigh.

So, anyway, Shannon and I are going in to the city to have dinner with my dad tonight. I'm a nervous wreck. Getting together with my dad is always a stressful proposition. I'm happy to get to see him briefly, and to have him and Shannon finally meet, but I know there are going to be numerous and frequent uncomfortable moments, as well.

Because my dad indicated an interest in my writing, I'm bringing him print-outs of a bunch of stuff I've written over the past few years. No fiction, though. Most of my fiction (non-fanfic fiction, I mean) is heavily based on my own life experiences, and so isn't very kind to my father. So I'm taking print-outs of the articles I wrote for Skotos, one of the articles Shannon and I co-wrote, some essays I've written on various subjects, a couple of my sonnets, and even a couple of my LJ entries (the one about the spiders in the mailbox and the one about the art of the apology).

If nothing else, the writing stuff might give us something to talk about.



There go my plans to have a relaxing evening. It looks like it will be, instead, quite the opposite.



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 19th, 2004 04:37 pm (UTC)
I feel for you. My dad wasn't with my mom and me for a while...I didn't grow up with him, had very little contact. I think he misses that contact, and wants to make up for lost time.

Which, of course, you can't.

Make sure you have Harry Chapin's Cat in the Cradle when you meet him.
Mar. 19th, 2004 04:58 pm (UTC)
Good luck tonight, sweetie!
And I read your article on "The Elements of Good Storytelling" -- great info there for folks writing fic (or any kind of writing really). Thanks for that link.
Mar. 19th, 2004 05:44 pm (UTC)
Thinking of you!
Mar. 19th, 2004 07:42 pm (UTC)
Ugh... *hugs* Do hang in there, comrade. Dinner doesn't last forever.
Mar. 19th, 2004 07:46 pm (UTC)
Man, what a perfect time for him to turn up... when you're not feeling up to dealing with people! I hope dinner went OK and that you get to relax after this...
Mar. 19th, 2004 08:25 pm (UTC)
Gah. I know the feeling. Hope things go as well as can be expected.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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