April 15th, 2012


More about the dying cat

Cobweb had another very bad day. She has limped around a little bit, occasionally going from one room to another in search of food, but she always looks like she's about to fall over, and she certainly hasn't gone anywhere near the stairs. And the times when she has walked around were very few and very far between. Mostly, she has just lain still.

She's also been almost entirely "checked out," just putting her head down and not really interacting with us, even when we call her name or pet her. She has perked up when treats were offered, and she seemed pretty interested in wet food (even though she didn't eat a lot of it), but mostly she has curled up in boxes (we have a few of appropriate size scattered around the house, as she's always been fond of lying in them) and not moved except to get water, as the kidney disease makes her always thirsty. She hasn't been making eye contact with us, just staring down all them time. And tonight she lay down in the litter box, just right there on top of her pee, and didn't want to leave when I tried to help her out. When I let her go, she walked right back into the litter box and lay down again.

So we're figuring that we'll be making the dreaded visit to the vet on Monday, when our regular vet will be in the office. If Cobweb seems worse tomorrow, we may change that plan, but right now I, personally, would like to have the support of a vet I know and trust, someone who cares about Cobweb and cares about Shannon and me, when we do this.

Shannon and I are both very stressed and upset, and we're planning to stay home tomorrow instead of going on a longish bike ride we had planned, because even if she isn't really responding to us much, neither of us wants to just head out and be gone for several hours on what will probably be our last day with her. Maybe she will crawl into my lap, again, though she hasn't done that for a couple days.

But, as I was telling Shannon a few minutes ago, I signed up for this 17 years ago when I brought her home as a kitten, and it has been way way more than worth it. She's an amazing, wonderful cat.

Cobweb's last days

We have an appointment to take Cobweb in tomorrow morning, when our normal vet will be there. Today is consisting largely of watching her struggle physically and trying to figure out what small things might make her more comfortable or give her a bit of pleasure. She doesn't seem to be in pain -- or we would have taken her in today -- but she can't walk more than a few steps at a time, then she lies down to rest for 15 or 20 minutes before getting up again.

We've been going through all the pictures we have on our computers, reminiscing about how she used to climb into recycling bags and send the paper tumbling all over the floor, or how she would sometimes sleep in the middle of the bed, under the blankets, and one time even climbed inside my pillow case and fell asleep with one paw sticking out, or how she would gaze at herself in the mirror for long periods while we said, "Handsome cat!"

Shannon even found and posted (on Facebook) some video he shot of her this last Christmas, when she was intrigued by one of the toys we bought and played with it for several minutes, even though she's something like 90 years old (if she were human). An old lady, playing with her Christmas toys -- pretty cute.

We've been crying a lot today, and I know tomorrow will be worse, but it's just the price you pay for loving, for even caring at all. If you don't care, you might never hurt, but that's not the way I would want to live my life. Still, there are tears.

Elegy for Cobweb

I know most people won't be interested, but I wanted to post some of my favorite photos of Cobweb, with a bit of description, so that I can look back on this journal entry and remember her. There are several cute pictures, so I'll cut them to save your loading time.

Cobweb in a small box

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