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May 7th, 2003

A Longing For Tidy Hair

If I had to choose only one word to describe my hair, it would probably be willful.

If I had to choose five words to describe my hair, they might be: brown, wavy, greying, thick, and stubborn.

My hair has a definite mind and will of its own. It will not be tamed. I've always envied those women who have tidy hair. My hair is never tidy. Never. My hair will not be coaxed into straightness ... nor will it be coaxed to curl. I can use as many curling irons, gels, hairsprays, and other tools of the hair trade as I like. They help not at all. My hair will do as it likes and will not be convinced to bend to anyone else's will. My hair is slave to no one, not even me.

As a result, I always look as if I've just recently emerged from a wind tunnel.

When the weather is stormy, I almost always think of Medusa, as my hair comes completely alive, striking out at random passersby with a vengeful anger I myself cannot understand. One of my old boyfriends said that I had vorpal hair. When the weather was windy, he often recited, "Her vorpal hair went snicker-snack!"

I taught myself to french braid my own hair while I was living in Scotland, because I became tired of having chunks of my hair torn out when they became entangled in the coat buttons of other people walking the opposite direction on the Loch Bridge or in the shopping centre. I also noticed that my hair had a very bad habit of aiming for other folks' faces and lashing them quite mercilessly. Very rude.

But even a french braid cannot fully control or contain my hair. Even if I pull my hair into a ponytail, bun, or french braid, tiny tendrils work their way free almost immediately as if to mock my attempts at neatness. I end up with a halo of the most determined hairs, waving hardily about my head.

My hair is also extremely strong and healthy. I get it trimmed every few years, sometimes only every 6 or 7 years (when I'm really letting it run footloose and fancy free). Whenever I tell a stylist how long it's been since my previous trim, she clucks her tongue and shakes her head and informs me that I'll have terrible split ends. But they are always surprised, because I never do. And when I do those strength tests, stretching a hair to see how resilient it is, my hair always performs spectacularly.

I'm quite certain that my hair has its own -- possibly evil -- agenda. Someday, it is going to take over the world.

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Spuffy Thoughts

Brief comment regarding 'Touched'Collapse )

I got to thinking, after re-watching the episode, about my own hopes for the series finale. I sometimes see other fans writing things like that Spike deserves Buffy's love, because of all his devotion and effort and whatnot. He went out and voluntarily got his soul, for goodness' sake! I have a series of responses to this:
  1. I agree and really really want to see Buffy tell Spike she loves him.

  2. However, it's ridiculous to say that someone "deserves" love. Love either exists or it doesn't. You can't make someone love you, no matter how much you love them, no matter how many times you perform magnificent acts of self-sacrifice. If Buffy loves Spike, it isn't because he "deserves" it. Loves just happens. It can change from within, but it can't be coerced or "earned" as if it were money. Love just is or is not.

  3. However, that doesn't really apply here, because Buffy and Spike don't actually exist. They are characters in a story. And the gain or loss of love in a story should not be so illogical as love in reality. It should work as part of the plot.

  4. And so, see #1. I want to see Buffy tell Spike she loves him precisely because the plot progression of the past 3 years has made me want it. All of Spike's efforts and sacrifices and sufferings in the story have made me want the plot to conclude with him being rewarded with Buffy's love. In reality, such actions cannot earn love ... but in a story, things are different. In a story, characters' behavior leads the audience to want and expect certain results.

  5. However, stories don't always go the way the audience wants them to. As long as the plot issue is addressed and somehow resolved, I'll be content. I do not require that writers (of books, movies, television, or whatever) give me the endings I want. That's what modern-day Hollywood is all about: giving the viewers what they want. And that results in bland homogeneity. I usually prefer the stories that challenge me more than that. (When I first watched "Casablanca", I wanted Ilsa to end up with Rick. But how much better is the ending they came up with?) And so I won't bear any ill will toward Mutant Enemy or Joss Whedon if they choose to challenge me rather than pat me on the head and hand me what I want.

  6. No matter where things go, I'm enjoying the ride. It may not be quite the ride that Season 2 was, or even Season 5, but it's still a ride I'm glad to be experiencing and am grateful to ME for creating.
I've decided that I'm not going to do any analysis of the remaining episodes as they air, nor am I going to read other folks' analyses. I'm not enjoying the show as much when I read these blow-by-blow analyses, because it feels sort of like criticizing a book chapter-by-chapter without having first read it through to the end. When I beta-read, I first read the entire fic through and just enjoy it. Then I read it through again with an analytical mindset. That first encounter with the story without looking for flaws is important to my experience, though. I want to grant the show the same respect.

Once I have seen this season all the way through, and perhaps had a chance to watch it again from that more informed perspective, and taken the time to think about it as a gestalt ... maybe then I'll feel justified in saying that something or other didn't work or whatever. For now, I'm going to suspend judgment and wait and see ... and enjoy the story on its own terms.


ETA: Not intended as criticism of anyone in particular. Just me rambling about my own thoughts. I couldn't even name names if you asked me to, so I hope no one is offended.

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