I found myself holding a roll of stomach fat in my hand and thinking, "This didn't used to be here!" I found myself entertaining fairly obsessive exercise thoughts about how many hours I could spend at the gym if I really put effort into it. How many pounds I could lose if I just got off my lazy ass.
I felt hideous, and -- at the same time -- pissed at myself for feeling hideous.
I want to see that body in the mirror and love it, instead of seeing rolls of fat. Not there yet, though.
