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Oh ... uh ... I haven't been writing here about my upcoming birthday because I was trying to hint or scam gifts out of anyone. I just live a very circumscribed life right now, in which any event -- including my birthday -- is big news.

Normally, I hate my birthdays. I hate having people fawning over me. I hate being the center of attention. I get all self-conscious and embarrassed and want to hide behind furniture. Having a group of people sing happy birthday to me is like a nightmare come to life. I tend to blush uncontrollably and not meet anyone's eyes, as if they can't see me if I don't see them. And when people give me gifts, I don't know what to say or do, and then I worry that I should get them gifts, too, and I don't know what to get for them, and then I get all anxious and freaked out.

So this year I'll have a nice, quiet birthday going out to dinner with Shannon. And he'll give me my Malaysian orangutan with a big green bow around its neck (because I don't like red, and anyway it would clash with the fur). And we won't tell the waiter that it's my birthday, so that they won't all come singing and make everyone in the whole restaurant stare at me, and that way I won't flee from the restaurant in embarrassed tears.

And no one needs to get me a gift. Okay? Good. :)



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 27th, 2003 07:52 pm (UTC)
Maybe he bought you.. er.. sponsored one of those starving kids.
I'm sure there are starving kids in Malaysia. You'll open this big crate and this skinny little kid will pop out.

That's exactly what will happen.

Or maybe it's a rug.
Mar. 27th, 2003 10:17 pm (UTC)
Well, if he bought me a starving kid, then we should probably order a third entree at dinner. I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

And if it's a rug, then we'll just take the third dinner home in a box. :)
Mar. 28th, 2003 01:02 am (UTC)
So what was the orangutan???

and btw,


Mar. 28th, 2003 10:01 am (UTC)
Hee! Thank you! :)

I'll write about the orangutan soon, I promise.
Mar. 28th, 2003 01:56 am (UTC)
Re: Birthday
Nope. No one needs to get you a gift. And if anyone should get you a gift, they likely wouldn't expect anything in return either. That's why it's a gift and not an obligation or a trade.
Mar. 28th, 2003 05:46 am (UTC)
Re: Birthday
It doesn't work that way! If I give a gift and don't get one in return (three week grace period for Christmas, or a sliding scale for birthdays due to the variant nature of birthdays), I have the right to reposess the gift immediately. It's in the small print I send with the card, along with the standard disclaimers. You do read the card, right?

Just kidding, btw. I agree with you - gifts are gifts.
Mar. 28th, 2003 06:01 am (UTC)
And no one needs to get me a gift. Okay?

Y'know, this sort of thing has been said by approximately 46,973,024 assorted Birthday-Boys-and-Girls-to-Be in the last year alone, and has succeeded in dissuading anybody from buying a gift, oh, maybe, five or six times. Sorry to inform you of that. :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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