Kimberly (kimberly_a) wrote,

  • Mood:

Bad dreams

Woke up very early from bad dreams. The last one, right before I woke up, involved all kinds of simultaneous work and home disasters. I seemed to work in some sort of office environment, but it seemed to somehow exist in the same space as my home, even though there were various other employees, supervisors, bosses, secretaries, and such. The washing machine was broken in some dramatic fashion, while something was leaking from the stove (pooling liquid on the ground) and I wasn't sure if it was oil or water, and if it was oil then fire could be imminent. No one was willing to help me with any of this, though I asked both Shannon and my brother to come at least smell the stove liquid to see if they could figure out if it was a danger. They both did, but then walked away in the utter chaos without giving me any feedback.

The work computer was broken and I was being blamed for not having a receipt, even though I hadn't been the person in the office who purchased it and that person had never given me the receipt. I tried to pick a flaking piece of plastic off the new work phone, and it ended up ripping a whole strip of hard plastic off the top so that the whole thing was going to need to be replaced.

And I received a MANY-paged hand-written letter from our annoying "millennial" neighbors (the ones I don't like IRL because they threw a fit & blamed *us* when their truck was towed from in front of our house due to their own illegal negligence) blaming us for something involving dogs, but I hadn't actually read it yet. I'd seen the very end of the letter, though, and it said that they were going to be moving away "in Danny Boy," which apparently meant February (dream logic), and I was happy that they would be leaving, and this somehow also related to our own plans to move to Hawaii, but I didn't want to read their fucking whiny letter & wanted to just punt it to Shannon, but it was something I was going to have to deal with on my own. They had also included in the envelope a bunch of literal individual alphabet letters which would form some kind of message when I arranged them into the correct formation, but I knew I wouldn't be able to decipher that message until I'd read the inevitably whiny, responsibility-deflecting, us-blaming letter, which I wished I could just throw into the inevitably imminent stove-leak kitchen fire.

The dream was a constant barrage of blame and responsibility and chaos and just one thing on top of another on top of another on top of another until I felt like I was going to scream and no one would help me.

When I woke up, around 7, I decided I didn't want to return to that lovely, relaxing world & so I'd just get up & maybe read some fanfic or something, since I'd already gotten nearly 8 hours of sleep. It was still dark outside, but I'd sorta HAD IT with the sleep world, because it was way more stressful than the real world at the moment. Then I decided I should write this all down, because my therapist always loves to talk about my dreams. And that brings me to now, when I think I'll sit back and read some Dan and Phil until it's time to go hang with Crystal & Julia in our usual Thursday morning get-together.
Tags: blame, chaos, dreams, neighbors, nightmares, responsibility, stress

  • Headache

    Sorry I haven't written in ages. The occipital neuralgia headaches are back. Or, rather, headache singular, because I've had the same headache…

  • Mostly Fun with Meds and Christmas

    I haven't posted a journal entry in ages. I've had some kind of medication issue that has been causing me to sleep 12-14 hours/day, but we think we…

  • Songs that remind me of Shannon

    Been wanting to make a list of songs that remind me of Shannon. I don't know how to do that Spotify thing, so I'll just link to YouTube videos: Ed…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 1 comment