If going places was not an issue, I would DEFINITELY prefer to be stupid than to be in such pain, but the fact is that it's just not realistic for me to reduce my pain by making myself unable to function well enough to get to appointments safely alone. I have too many places I need to be each week, many (possibly most) part of the effort to improve the headache problem that is causing the stupidity/pain conflict in the first place. The appointments (especially doctor appointments and physical therapy) really aren't optional.
So, unfortunately, having less pain is a choice I can't afford. I have to be able to go places without help, and I can't reliably do that on this dosage of Neurontin.
I thought it was going to be a difficult choice, but in the end it isn't really a choice at all, which sucks. Another reason to feel powerless in this situation.