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Talked to the pain doc. He says all my current symptoms--the headache, nausea, diarrhea, body temp instability, etc.--are classic withdrawal symptoms that might be significantly better by the weekend ... but alternatively might continue longer than that, because everyone is different, and that even then the symptoms might recur occasionally, randomly, unpredictably, even months into the future.

I ask again: What the hell were the doctors thinking, prescribing this stuff to me for MONTHS with no explanation of potential ramifications? I had absolutely NO idea that this could happen.

Given how strongly my body tends to react to medications, I'm not holding my breath for a withdrawal-free weekend.

The nausea, in particular, is really wearing on me. I'm having a lot of trouble eating anything other than bread. And the diarrhea makes me a bit nervous about going anywhere. The idea of not knowing when the withdrawal symptoms might pop up again in the future, out of nowhere, even once they seem to be gone, is also a bit distressing.

The pain doc expressed some concern about what we're going to do about the headaches after we've got me off the codeine & through the Butrans process. He's clearly fretting about the fact that my headaches are apparently more complicated than the usual simple diagnosis AND untreatable with almost ALL of their usual methods (due to the kidney disease). He told me to hang in there until my appointment with him next week, and in the meantime I'm going to do my physical therapy exercises. I'll see him Wednesday afternoon, then get back in touch with the neurologist who referred me to Pain Doc to see if he has any ideas. Pain Doc seems to be concerned that he won't be able to help me & doesn't want to abandon me to constant headaches.

Headaches are one of the codeine withdrawal symptoms, though, so maybe they won't stay this bad forever.

In the meantime, the coloring doesn't distract me anymore, so I did some brainstorming about other brainless things I could do with my hands to help keep my brain on task--especially when watching tv or reading with Shannon--and I decided to crochet another afghan. I haven't made one in about 20 years, but it was an enjoyable pastime back then & I can make something especially nice & soft & warm & comforting & pretty, just for myself, for when I curl up on the couch. So I'm going to search for a local yarn store & go in this weekend & just spare no expense: buy myself the softest, prettiest yarn I can find--I'm thinking maybe varying shades of blue--and start a meditative new project. It'll be more difficult to carry around with me than a coloring book--the perils of carlessness--but I'll manage. I'm excited about it.

Tonight Shannon & I went to a play at Shotgun Players--something about an "Electric Ballroom"--and I felt terribly cheated. My brain is now clouded only by headache and nausea--no longer by codeine--and so I was able to follow the play perfectly well, but it was TERRIBLE. Boring and depressing and pointless and unpleasant. It's so incredibly unfair that I was high on opiates for this year's amazing production of "Twelfth Night" (one of my favorite Shakespeare plays) and the culmination of Stoppard's challenging Shipwreck trilogy, but was fully aware for THIS. Sigh.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 2nd, 2014 12:45 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry I haven't kept up with this enough to know the answer, but have they given you something for the nausea? If not, I wonder if benadryl would help? I'm thinking good thoughts that you can get through the worst of this withdrawal soon.
Oct. 2nd, 2014 06:39 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry this experience has been so horrible and doctors have been so not-helpful. :-(
Oct. 3rd, 2014 12:16 am (UTC)
your afghan would be more portable if you did it in squares and then attached them later. maybe less mindless than a giant rectangle though. :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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