Kimberly (kimberly_a) wrote,

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Impediments (um ... there's a pun there)

Weird anxiety dream about my mom last night.

We were shopping together at a mall, and we wandered apart to look at different stuff that interested each of us, but then I couldn't find her again. I called her cell phone, but there was no answer. I got really worried and started looking and looking, but I couldn't find her. I phoned her cell phone again, and a man answered. I sort of stuttered, confused, saying this is my mom's phone, and he told me that she'd been sent to the hospital because she collapsed because her appendix exploded or something. This guy had her phone because he was the doctor who had diagnosed her and sent her off to the hospital.

So I got up and ran to where the guy/doctor was, and he told me what had happened and I wrote down what hospital she was in so I could tell a cab driver, and I realized I'd left my backpack and all my stuff just sitting in the middle of this department store when I ran off after hearing the news, so I was worried that my wallet would be gone, but it was sitting there, just fine and safe, when I went back for my stuff.

So I grabbed my stuff and ran toward the elevators, but the elevators were really confusing. The button system was very complex, and I couldn't figure out how to get down to the ground floor. Then I remembered that I didn't have any shoes on, because I'd left my slippers (I was wearing slippers in the mall because I had lost a shoe at some point - *shrug*) up where the guy/doctor was, on the third floor, and so I had to try to find my way back to the third floor, and when I got there it didn't look anything like it had the first time, and so I figured I must have remembered the wrong floor, and so I didn't know where my slippers were, but for some reason I couldn't go to the hospital without them.

But then I saw the guy/doctor again, and he told me that it turned out that my mom's appendix hadn't exploded (or whatever), that she'd just collapsed as a result of stress. I was relieved, because it seemed a hell of a lot less likely to kill her immediately, and I guess then I wandered off to look for slippers or try to get the elevators to work.

Later on in the night, I had one of my classic anxiety dreams: the one where I've signed up for classes for the new quarter/semester, but I can't remember what they are or what time they start or where they're being held. And some of them overlap with each other.

My friends Crystal and Andrew were living with me or staying with me or something, and I was having trouble getting them moving so we could get to school on time. (I couldn't leave without them? Like the slippers in the first dream?) I realized that I was supposed to be taking P.E. at 9:00, but I looked at the clock and it was already past 9, so I shrugged and thought, "What the hell was I thinking, signing up for P.E., anyway? I hate P.E.! So I'll just drop that class. I can take this other class that starts at 9:48, instead."

But I couldn't find Andrew, and Crystal was being so slooooooow, but for some reason I couldn't leave without them. Shannon showed up and told me that my clipboard was really not very good -- it had wires that poked out at the top and I couldn't make them bend into non-dangerous shapes -- and he showed me this really cool clipboard he had, which had a sort of handle on the right side & little cubbies for pens and post-its and paper clips and such on the left side. I was totally in love with this clipboard and I wanted one, but I couldn't see how he could possibly transport it to school, because it was too big and bulky. And if you put it in your backpack, all the stuff in the cubbies would fall out. But he showed me that he could lay it down flat in his bike pannier and it fit perfectly, and I was sad, because there was no way that cool clipboard would fit in my backpack, so I was stuck with my crappy one with the dangerous wires sticking out.

That's all I remember.

Apparently, in my dreams, I am being held back by something. I can't move forward without my slippers or without Crystal/Andrew or whatever. And I don't get to have cool clipboards.

Probably not taking enough Xanax.
Tags: anxiety, dreams, friends, mom, school, shannon

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