pink sweater
white ballet flats
blue eyeshadow
peach lipstick
legs crossed
lace-trimmed anklets
hands clasped lightly
in my lap
head tilted
just so
look at me
trying to be perfect
I always did
I used a lot of hairspray
and liquid foundation
and powder foundation
that's no foundation
the smoothness of my skin
is not my foundation
the camouflaging of
colors and freckles and variations
making it all homogenous
making it all the same
making it all blend in
that is not my foundation
and yet
in a way
it is
because it's where
I come from
who I am now
was founded
in those lace-trimmed anklets
that peach lipstick
that exceedingly tidy hair
with its protective layer
of immobilizing varnish
now I varnish my art
spray sealant on collages
and my hair is wild
I'm wearing
mismatched
tie-dyed
socks right now
I haven't worn lipstick
or eye shadow
in more than a decade
maybe two
I don't use paints
to mask what people
might call
my flaws
I don't use
liquid foundation
to even my skin tone
and make sure that
there's nothing
nothing
that might make anyone
look
now I use liquid foundation
in the form of watercolors
as the base for
collages
collages which
people are
meant
to look at
creating art
instead of camouflage
expressing what's inside
instead of worrying
about being visible
my mom hates
that I wear socks
that don't match
she says
people might not know
that you did it on purpose
they might think
it's a mistake
but when she says that
I just say,
"So?"
