Anxiety: I got lost on my way to the podiatrist on Wednesday, because my print-out from Google Maps fell out of my pocket, leaving me without the address or the complicated route to walk there (the stupid street stops and starts with various dead-ends and therefore can't always be reached directly from wherever you are), and I kept walking around, looking and looking, and totally lost, and I ended up bursting into tears. I eventually found it, thanks to a terribly staticky pay phone call to Shannon and the help of a dog-walking woman and her "smart phone," but I was quite late and very upset. My anxiety has been increasingly bad over the past 2 weeks or so, and it's gotten to the point where I once again was unable to stay in the CWC art room. I was there for about 20 minutes on Friday (with my giant headphones on, playing my white noise app) and became so anxious that I basically fled and came home. I've been having trouble with people talking near me, even outside the house, and it's unpleasant having this back again.
Mood: Speaking of thiings being back again, I've been feeling sort of depressed the past few days. I'm not interested in things very much; I'm not making eye contact when people talk to me; I'm sleeping a lot; I mostly want people to leave me alone; I can't read anything or focus on tv shows; food doesn't interest me; and I just don't care about much of anything. I haven't felt significantly depressed in a long time, and it's kind of pissing me off. I've been looking back longingly at the hypomania I was experiencing only a week or so ago, when everything seemed so exciting. Right now, I just don't give a shit about pretty much anything.
Meds: To help with my mood and try to prevent a slip into further depression, my meds doc recommended that I reduce my dosage of Seroquel to 100 mg (to get rid of some of the sedation, though much of my daytime sleeping is clearly due to mood and not meds) and add a bit of Zoloft (25 mg) again to try to counteract the downward slide.
Nausea: Speaking again of unpleasant things returning, ithis damn nausea is like the ghosts in the movie Poltergeist: it's baaaack. I'm assuming this is due to the reduced dosage of Seroquel, since both Seroquel and Saphris stimulate appetite, and my nausea went away when I started taking them. Two nights ago I reduced my Seroquel dosage by 25 mg, and today I'm once again chomping on disgusting candied ginger and not wanting to eat anything. Bleh.
Art: My cherry blossom collage has already been submitted to this HHREC "Health through Art" contest (which, if your piece wins, results in billboards, sides of buses, etc.), and I don't have any good photos of it, but I'd like to be able to use it in my Etsy shop for greeting cards, postcards, and possibly even small framable prints, so I'm going to try to find my way to their offices and borrow it to get it scanned at some copy/print/sign shop nearby and then return it. I'm hoping to do this on Tuesday, so I'm crossing my fingers that I'll have more energy by then. In the meantime, I'm in the process of starting a collaged calendar project, in hopes of finishing it and putting it up on Etsy in time for people who want calendars for the new year. I'm not sure if it will happen, but we'll see. I haven't had a lot of energy to work on it today, but -- again -- I'm crossing my fingers. The anger book is done (except for a cover and title page and -- possibly -- colophon, none of which interest me at all right now), so I'd like to get started on something else. It might help me with the depression.