Some people seem to believe that LJ is dying, and I must admit that I've noticed the complete and prolonged absence of some of my friends who used to write frequently. In fact, my "Friends" feed is now mostly communities.

It makes me sad. Even LJ friends I've met in real life have just vanished. I recently emailed one friend I've felt particularly close to for years, and she didn't even respond to my email. I see some LJers posting to Facebook, but it isn't the same. You don't really know someone through Facebook. You might know what their cat looks like when it's doing something cute, but you don't know that person's heart.

I haven't been in this situation before, but I guess maybe online friendships are always like this: you get close to people, share your deepest cares and theirs, and then eventually they just walk away. You become irrelevant to their lives. I'm not like that, and I find myself sometimes wondering what has happened to online friends I once loved who have left me behind and moved on to the next thing in their lives. What happened to tiashome after she said goodbye and left LJ in 2004? What about soulstar? And how's margarks doing, now that she hasn't really posted anything but fic for the last year, and rarely even that? Maybe I just get more attached than most. I learned so much about these people's inner lives -- their hurts and joys and hopes -- and now they're gone from my life forever, just fading into the shadows. Moving on.

I want you to know, those of you still reading this, that I'll miss you if you leave, especially those of you who have opened your hearts to me. When you're gone, I'll wonder if you're happy or sad, because I honestly care. I see you as people, not as pixels, and you're very real to me. I do realize that these friendships will eventually fade -- probably all of them, except for you locals I knew before we were on LJ -- so I'm not trying to fight it, but I'll grieve. I already do. It probably makes me naive, but I do.