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Went to dim sum with Katherine yesterday, and then today at Lisa's as usual. We're getting toward the Buffy season 6 episode "Seeing Red," and I'm not looking forward to it. Ugh. That'll be next week.

Lisa and I talked a lot about someone she knows who is trans ... and who is very intolerant of trans people who can't pass as easily as she can. She has been very blatantly rude to one of Lisa's friends because of this (refusing to be in the same room with her). I think it's like the mixed race person who doesn't want to spend time with black people because of what it might make people think about them. I was getting pretty pissed off when Lisa was telling me about this, and I was almost getting a bit pissed off at Lisa for not finding it more objectionable. Lisa was all, "Oh, I think it's kind of sad that she feels this way," and I was like, "Fuck her. She needs to grow up." Not a very compassionate way to look at it, I suppose, but it makes me mad. Well, it's unlikely that I will ever encounter this person, so my anger serves no purpose.

Breathe in, breathe out.

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
silversliver
Jan. 11th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
My ex was like that. She did not want to be seen with people who were identifiably trans because it might impact her ability to pass. I would revise your analogy to a comparison of a light-skinned black person who passes for mediterranean-white who lives and works in an all-white neighborhood subtly hostile to blacks being seen in that neighborhood with someone who can be identified as black by appearance. I think the key is the visual cues and the hostile environment.

I agree with Lisa that it's a sad way of being (for trans status, ethnicity, political views, and all the other areas I see it). While I do my best to keep my friends in a rational frame of mind to threats to their security & livelihood, sometimes the threat is real and sometimes the individual in question is immovable. I'm glad to have come to the point where I can let go of successfully changing such points of view as a sacred duty. I still ask people to think, "why are you so hard on her?" and "why are you so hard on yourself?"

And yes: breathe in, breathe out.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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