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I'm fading away …

I saw my doctor today, and she wants me to stay off my feet as much as possible until the pain in my left heel has gone away, and then only increase my activity on my feet slowly, given how bad the pain had gotten. In the meantime, she's got me doing a number of things:

- wearing cushy inserts in my thick-soled tennies
- icing my foot a few times a day to help decrease the inflammation
- taking Tylenol regularly to help decrease the inflammation
- not going barefoot, even in the house, but always wearing shoes or slippers with good cushion between me and the hard floors

She also wants me to see a podiatrist to at least check me out, since I do have a history of foot pain that is probably plantar fascitis. She says they might have better ideas for long-term preventative care.

I also went online a couple hours after the appt with my doc and bought myself some Birkenstocks, because I wear flip-flops most of the time, most of the year, and that just seems unwise now, as it no doubt contributes to the long term problem. Still, I prefer to avoid wearing stuffy enclosed shoes when possible, so some sandals with good arch support and generally foot-friendly design and construction seemed like a good investment. I even found a style on Amazon that has been discontinued and so was less expensive than most Birkenstocks.

As for the rest of my stuff, my mood is still a bit elevated today, though not nearly what it was a week or two ago. I've just been getting lots of stuff done (such as dishes, laundry, and a trip to the drug store and another to Trader Joe's, despite having been instructed to stay off my feet) and haven't been much able to just sit down and relax. Right now I'm falling down tired, but I hate to go to bed this early (since Shannon most likely won't be ready for bed for another 2-3 hours). Still, I most likely will have to sleep soon. I run run run all day, then just pretty much literally collapse around 11 or 12 at night.

So it's time for me to take my Saphris, which will knock me on my ass within 15-20 minutes and make anything but bed impossible. I'm going to talk to my meds doc (when I see him next week) about whether we should continue with the Saphris, though, because it doesn't seem to be doing a great job of controlling my anxiety (I got extremely anxious at my doctor's office this morning when someone was complaining -- quite calmly and without raising his voice -- about having to wait because his doctor was running behind.) or my hypomania (since it still seems to be lingering, though in a much milder form), and it's making me ravenously hungry all the time & I continue to gain weight. I'm not sure what our other options are, but we'll have to talk about it.

Oh, and today I spent something like 2 hours going wild on Etsy, because I finally figured out what search terms to use to locate all their collage supplies. So many neat papers! I added about a million things to my list of favorites, and then couldn't help myself and bought 2 of the paper packs that looked most potentially useful for my ANGER project. The anger project is shaping up. I may start sorting things into potential spreads this weekend. And maybe someday soon I'll actually pick up a brush and my Yes paste and start glueing.

Evidence of continuing hypomania: I have a song going through my head which has been altered to be about my own mental state:

(to the tune of "Come Sail Away" by Styx)

I'm fading away …
Set an open course for the comfy bed
'Cause I've got to find sleep
Sleep to face the life that's ahead of me



Come go to bed
Come go to bed
Come go to bed with me, Shannon
Come go to bed
Come go to bed
Come go to bed with meeeeeeeeee


I often make up songs about my life when I'm hypomanic. It's one of the fun things. Not that there's a shortage of fun things when I'm hypomanic.

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